hey look at this thing i made: VIII

There's a battle going on. I can say with absolutely no hyperbole (or wait, maybe that's with ONLY hyperbole) that this is the greatest conflict known to man. Or woman. I say woman, because, I of course speak of the godparent power rankings.

Need some background? Well, that's why I'm here. See, it had been impossible to reach a consensus decision about who bel's number 1 godparent was. The only logical thing to do was implement a completely impartial system, sort of like the BCS. It's actually almost identical to the BCS, except it only takes into account one human poll and there's only one computer. Although, having now typed that out, it doesn't actually seem anything like the BCS, well, except that they both cause endless controversy. Check out this historical data:

Week ending 8/15 (2009) - Week ending 12/11 (2010)

1. MikeyK

2. D

I mean, that's unbelievable dominance. We're talking almost 16 straight months without a single change in the rankings. Some people would point to that and say there must be a flaw in the system, cause how could that possibly be right? Well, the thing is, I'm really just that great. This past year, was there a single (sane) person arguing that boise state should be ranked ahead of auburn? Fuck and no there wasn't. You know why? Cause greatness like that just can't be denied. Same principle applies here.

You don't just get to the top and say "well, that's that." Shit takes work. Take this Christmas. There didn't seem to be anything worthwhile out there, so I decided I needed to make something for her. Given my strict no gifts of clothing for anyone ever policy, the only other thing I could think of was a stuffed animal. Teddy bear seemed like the way to go. I had remembered seeing some crocheted things on some craft blog that looked delightful, so I found a pattern and I was off. Here's step 1:

Row 1: Sc 8 times into a loop (8 sts) - tighten the loop.

...

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!? SC? HOW AND WHY DOES SOUTH CAROLINA COME INTO PLAY!? Oh wait, there's a key, let's rewrite that.

Row 1: Single crochet 8 times into a loop (8 stitches) - tighten the loop.

...

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!? SINGLE CROCHET? WTFBBQ!?!

I guess I should go back in the story here. I don't (didn't) actually know how to crochet. This project was started under my unwavering assumption that given sufficient time and motivation I can do anything. Of course a big part of my plan here was that the pattern would be more intuitive. /sigh. Guess I better get a fucking book. The book I got had a section on deciphering patterns. It listed a number of things to look for that were not present in the pattern I had. Sure I could've gotten a different pattern, but as El Fuego would say, I was in too deep. I think I tried to do this ten times and was on the verge of seeking outside help, when it all just clicked. I went back and was off. It all came together pretty quick after that.

See, a nice adorable pig, just like I had planned on making all along. I totally didn't just do that because after making the body and arms it looked nothing like a bear.